Loss is very hard and yes, it is permanent. It will bring with it sadness, depression, bewilderment, despair, helplessness, loneliness, emptiness, meaninglessness, and sometimes guilt.
Here a few helpful ways to handle it
Be patient
Loss will make you stop in your tracks and look around at the world. And you may become upset to see that life around you has not stopped. The world around you will go on as usual. And whether you like it or not life will not adjust according to your experiences and will continue as before.
There is no timetable for how long you will feel the emotions around the loss but be patient; the day will come when you will find yourself back with other people and life is going on.
Be Forgiving
Grieving for someone or something has a tendency to make you want to nurse grudges. Or to get angry about small petty things. It is as though having this anger or grudge to hold on to will protect you from the loss. It will not!
When you lose something or someone, the small things in life, like who said what and who was supposed to have done what can become a focal point. A dangerous one! Don’t stay focused on the “if only” instead let go. This is essential to your overall happiness.
Let go and forgive. This means forgiving yourself also!
Be attentive
If you have been too busy to see people who used to be close to you or to do things that mattered to you take this moment of loss to be attentive. To people and things around you. Spend some time doing things you love or work on your career, business or pick up a hobby. Grab this opportunity to reconnect with the people who matter most to you.
The experience of losing someone or something, especially unexpectedly, can be made easier when you pay attention to other things. Life is unpredictable so it helps if you focus on having experiences that make you feel satisfied and good at the end of the day.
Be Careful
During a loss your beliefs, likes, dislikes, and desires are heightened and often it is in these moments that you are vulnerable. So be careful not to make any decisions you may regret down the line. Be careful also, who you surround yourself with at this time. Not everyone is there to grieve with you. Some people you may well need to keep your distance from as they will try to manipulate you into doing things that you may not otherwise consent to at another time. And do not lose sight of things because you are trying to “right a wrong” or you want to be liked or respected. Stay true to who you are!
This does not mean that you must be closed to or not pay attention to what would make other people happy at this time of loss. You can make sure that other people are not hurt by being compassionate, loving, and respectful.
Be Funny
Not everyone will like this. How can you laugh with a loss but making laughter as part of your loss will help. Finding things to laugh about is important to feel good no matter what the situation is.
Laughter can dissolve anger, improve mood, boost energy, reduce pain, reduce stress, and release the feel-good chemicals called endorphins. In short, laughter really is the best medicine for negative emotions.
