Some Advice to Your Adult Self You Will Seldom Get

Adult life is beset with incidents and some things don’t always go as planned. They can and will go wrong – you can either give up, ruin your plans and goals, or you can do the right thing for you and make the necessary adjustments so you can keep going. Live aware of the lessons of your day as they have a lot to tell you.
Below, some advice for your adult self (some of which I got from my late mother)

1. Not all friends on Facebook are real
When you have a lot of friends on Facebook, you might not know all of them that well. In fact, some of them might not be true friends at all. Or even if they are real friends, people change. Even you change. And as a result, there will always be that conflict in values.

2. Do not let friends or family abuse your generosity
You are not the constant entertainer and provider. When people show up for a weekend stay without so much as token of appreciation, allowing you to wait on them hand and foot and overstaying their welcome-it is just rude. Do not be afraid to simply show them the door!

3. Staying at a hotel should be a pleasant experience
You are not inconveniencing anyone. You are paying to be waited on. Share your unhappiness with the broader community and help improve the service.

4. Renting a house should not be stressful
If there is a problem with your rental property, you need to approach your landlord like you want to work WITH them to make a better living situation for everyone.
If you have already tried to no avail to rectify the situation, it’s probably time to move on to Plan B: MOVE!

5. Being a landlord or lady should not be stressful
It is quite hard and a time consuming process to chase a tenant again and again for rental payments and Withholding tax payment invoices. Therefore always apply a late fee on invoices. And, a one month eviction notice on the lease.

6. Complain or return goods that are not up to standard
Companies are legally obligated to provide the merchandise you pay for. Some retailers like to sell damaged goods because they know that trusting unsuspecting buyers will not return the goods or complain. Return damaged goods and demand your money back.

7. Don’t worry about what people think about you
You can be the ripest, juiciest mango in the world, but there will always be someone who hates mangoes. Enjoy who you are. Stop caring about what others think and let that inner fire drive your life!

8. If you want to know what a person is like, take a good look at how they treat their inferiors, not their equals
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.

9. Your ill health is not an opportunity for someone else ( at church or at a medical facility) to make money
Start your day caring for your health. Love your body. Take good care of it. Exercise.
Going to the hospital is seldom a pleasant experience; sometimes you may leave the hospital in worse condition than you entered. Or you could die. If the death is a result of incompetence and poor practice and you have the option of suing the hospital-Do it!

10. Show your family how much you care, appreciate, and value them
Each day is filled with endless opportunities to say “I love you”! Or try to show it through your actions. And, please, put those phones down and appreciate the people in front of you.

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Kwachalelo, be successful, be well.

About Balekile Gausi

A prolific writer covering work, money and lifestyle that passed through university coming away with a very good grasp of public administration, money and banking, international relations. She was a civil servant that quickly opted for self-employment. And as a trained and published writer she has been freelance feature writing for several decades but has also published fiction in Drum and The BBC Focus on Africa Magazine. Now settled and living in Lusaka after many years of living in several cities in Africa and Europe; Balekile is also an avid bird watcher, is married with 3 adult children and has an extraordinary fondness for chikanda ( the Zambian delicatessen that vegans and non-vegans world-wide are putting on their bucket list!)

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