Signs the Unpleasant Person Could be you

Unpleasant people can be mean, negative, and disrespectful and they can leave you feeling angry, upset, drained, or mistreated.

This behavior can be spotted immediately in some people while others will disguise it rather well. Signs of unpleasantness are

You like to control

You like to be in control of situations and in particular like to control what other people think or say. When you tell people something you want them to take it, accept it and go along with what you have said. If someone disagrees or points out a flaw, you do not take it well and will probably show it with anger. Or a cruel comment.

Since you always want to control the situation and for people to defer to you and your opinion on all topics, if you are asked a question that you don’t know the answer to. You will simply lie rather than admit to them that you don’t know the answer.

You scare people

You make people afraid to be vulnerable around you. As you immediately zero in onto what they have done wrong or what they have failed at. People, includes family, friends and strangers. And if you hear anything that went awry or bad about anyone of them you are quick to jump on it saying, ‘am not surprised” or “I told you so”.

You lack sensitivity and fail to recognize that people will make mistakes. Including you. Sometimes people just want a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear so being harsh and having people be fearful of confiding in you is no way to help them. Even if you are right in your observations; try to be a bit more sensitive and less of a bully.

You are unforgiving

You find it hard to forgive and forget. More especially, if you believe you have been offended. And so will keep on revisiting the incident and will not take kindly to being ignored. And will stay or revisit the incident or topic until you get a response.

As you do not ‘gossip’ about others, you will often in the guise of being frustrated introduce a topic related to them. This way, you have a way in. To put the person down or get your grievance heard.  In other words you will not let things go until in your eyes you have made them ‘pay’.

You hide behind an addiction

Yes, you are stuck in a world where the addiction takes over and forces you to behave in a certain way and it cannot be pleasant but, it is also very unpleasant for other people. Many addictions are like a heavy weight around the neck and if you let yours continue, it will slowly pull you under. And permanently turn you into that badly behaving and always unpleasant person. Which you will probably end up being comfortable with and calling it ‘being yourself’.

You are not being yourself. You are hiding behind your addiction and are lying to yourself that this is who you are because it is not who you are. And you know it.

As many addictions change people and the way they behave. Most people will recognize this and give you some slack. However, just because people are accepting does not give you license to behave badly!

Kwachalelo

A Zambian site sharing quick read articles around work, money and adulting life with selective interviews and quotes.
The founder, editor and lead writer who left university with a good grasp of public administration, economics, money, banking and international relations is also qualified in journalism and creative writing. She has been published in Drum and The BBC Focus on Africa Magazine and has been featured in several local and international publications.
An avid bird watcher with an extraordinary fondness for chikanda ( a Zambian delicatessen that vegans and non-vegans world-wide are putting on their bucket list ) she often tweets in poetry and short prose @kwachalelo