3 Habits that May Lower Self Esteem

Sometimes it is not only that negative self-talk and constant self-criticism that you indulge in which is lowering your self-esteem it may also be the habits you cultivate.

The 3 habits that may lower your self-esteem are

Always making Comparisons

The sentences that start with frequently comparing oneself to others can indicate a lack of self-esteem. This habit may come from a belief deep down that others are superior or more deserving. And it may leave you feeling inadequate and, yes, envious.

Choosing the weakest points of others and propping yourself up as a habit says you have low self-esteem so instead of comparing, change your circumstance. Face the challenges in your own life to the best of your ability. Stop comparing and do something as always comparing is very self-destructive behavior and keeps you from facing and tackling your weaknesses and will eventually stop you from moving forward to better circumstances.

Sometimes moving forward may require asking for help from outsiders. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. People respect an honest person and are willing to help if you ask for help as opposed to other people sabotaging.

Seeking constant approval

When you are constantly highlighting your good points and focusing on flaws or mistakes of others you may be actually a seeker of constant validation. And this is ruining your own esteem. This constantly seeking approval from others indicates a lack of self-assurance and self-worth.

Always wanting other people to approve will make you unhappy and leave you feeling not good enough. This fear of being judged or not meeting certain standards makes you seek to please constantly. And you end up prioritizing others needs at the expense of your own. Which is a sign of low self-esteem.

You cannot please everyone and you will fail to please many times. Give yourself a break. It is ok to fear being rejected and to be afraid that you will be abandoned but it is not ok to wanting to please all of the time. You will end up being very unhappy.

Overly Available 

Being overly available runs in tandem with always seeking approval and it may come from a fear of conflict or displeasing others.

Being overly available sadly does not only mean you are a good and kind person it can also mean that you lack self-worth and have a low self-esteem. Basically you lack assertiveness and it shows by you being overly available. This wanting to be the one that is always available says that you fear being rejected are afraid of confrontation and desperately want to be taken seriously.

You can say no and it will be ok. You can disagree with other people and it will be ok. People will be judged and it is ok. It is ok to not be interesting or likable to everyone. You cannot always be agreeable to everyone. It is ok!


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The founder, editor and lead writer who left university with a good grasp of public administration, economics, money, banking and international relations is also qualified in journalism and creative writing. She has been published in Drum and The BBC Focus on Africa Magazine and has been featured in several local and international publications.
An avid bird watcher with an extraordinary fondness for chikanda ( a Zambian delicatessen that vegans and non-vegans world-wide are putting on their bucket list ) she often tweets in poetry and short prose @kwachalelo