Marriage works if you work at it

A successful relationship needs to be cultivated and this can only be done by forming good habits and then incorporating them into your daily life.

Working on a few things and making them routine can make all the difference in your relationship.

So to make it work by

Being Realistic

If there is a problem in the relationship or if there is something that keeps coming up and upsetting the both or one of you do tackle it early. Do not ignore it because it will not go away.

You can escape reality, but you can’t escape the consequences of escaping reality. Tackle the problems in their small stages and be patient. Lack of patience will derail any good intentions so be very patient.

Not being patient with each other will mean that you will get frustrated and throw you off course. Worse, you will feel the other is not doing anything or you will feel like they are moving too slowly.  snail’s pace.

Being Faithful

Be faithful and many problems will be kicked to the curb. Money, time spent away from home, nosing around each other’s phones, being clingy, jealousy and envy will not come up or will not be the reason you are either successful or a failure in your relationship.

Avoid drinking alcohol like a camel drinking water as nothing is worse than losing your senses and wanting to hump every person that shows interest in you. Keep your standards high and don’t settle for someone because they are available. You married your standard so be faithful to them.

If there is a suspicion of one of you stepping out of the relationships, avoid assumptions and ask. Also, avoid listening to gossip and get to the bottom of things yourself. People like to stir up trouble and only want to hear the problems you have, not to help but to pass them on.

Your relationship problems are 100% your responsibility so keep them between the 2 of you. This does not mean you cannot seek counselling. Asking for help from the right channels is absolutely the right thing to do and do always seek opportunities to learn together especially from qualified people or from couples ahead of you.

Friend Selecting

Not everyone is going to be a friend for life and no matter how much you enjoyed each other’s company as single people, the dynamics have changed. There are very few single people that like hanging out with couples, this is a reality. Also, do know that not every single person is not friend-worthy but, be selective about what you do with them. Their world won’t slow down for you so keep that in mind.

Also, just because they are also married does not mean they will make good friends. If you don’t vibe, you don’t vibe. Also, not everyone is honest as some people may look like they are where you want to be in life but the reality at home maybe very far from the image they put out there. So try not to take advice from people just because they are married too.

No one cares about your family more than you so ignore the jokers who mock and make fun of you because you prioritize your family. And there is nothing that speaks volumes to your partner than cutting these people off.

Financing Together

Money is as we know a deal breaker for many people even before the vows are made. If you find someone as smart as or smarter than you about money, you are in good company and that will bode well for your marriage. And they will probably know that a separate income does not mean that you should manage money separately.

Married life is a two people affair but, some people are funny and think that they must spend the money they earn to buy things they want without consulting. You’re now one entity so now pool your resources.

Talking about money is important during the dating stage and will help you get to see the type of person you might end up with. However, some people do change and drop their single life habits. Other’s unfortunately don’t and do continue spending separately. This is a recipe for disaster. Pool your finances and make each other accountable.

There are many ways to manage family finances, just find one that works best for you both. This might change overtime depending on the circumstances but do try to manage finances together.

Kwachalelo

Sharing quick read articles around work, money and adulting life with selective interviews and quotes.