There is no telling how you will react at a deep loss but for many of us grief will manifest initially as shock. Then there is the bewilderment, despair, helplessness, loneliness, emptiness, meaninglessness, and even guilt.
Grief is a very personal experience but, here are 3 things about loss that may happen to most of us and may surprise you
We Slow Down
Before you are confronted by a deep loss you are busy living your life and not stopping to take things in around you. It’s not until you’ve lost someone that you stop in your tracks and look around at the world. Suddenly you pay attention to others and what is happening around you.
The slow attendant at the filling station or the long faced cashier at your grocery coffee shop, on another occasion you would have annoyed you. You would have been impatient and quick with them but experiencing a loss makes you rein in. You realise eventually, whether you like it or not, that you’re not in control of anything and not everyone is on your schedule.
Grief makes us see that life has other people living in it and they don’t have to go according to our speed all the time.
We Become Understanding
What once would have made you angry and impatient will suddenly have a different effect. You let the situation unfold and try to understand it and where once you would have had the tendency to want to nurse grudges, you let the by-gone be by-gone.
When we lose someone, the small things in life, like who said what about you, who did not help you or who disappointed you in a relationship become unimportant. And you actually see things differently and understand why certain things happened and what role you yourself had in them.
With loss you learn to let go and let life lead you where it will and you realise that holding onto anger does nothing for you.
We Become Unified
When you lose someone you love especially unexpectedly, it makes you that much more aware of how important the people in your life are. The loss brings you closer together as a family as friends and as a community.
Life is short and all we really have is each other and at the end of the day, you can’t do it all by yourself. You have people around you and loss becomes a great opportunity to reconnect with the people who matter most to you, even if you’ve drifted apart.
Send the text, make the call, plan the trip, good friendships must be treasured.
